i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
