After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I am available for nakedness
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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