Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize