it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
