And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize