he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
This house was built for laser tag.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
