therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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