lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
