I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
