if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
