It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
