just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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