I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
this hospital has no fireball
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Randomize
