Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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