Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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