DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my morning after pill in the library
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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