If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
