I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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