Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I have demons in me.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
