so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
