What a fucking waste of an outfit
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
