Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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