U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
