allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
