Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
