we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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