If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
