So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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