Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
