I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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