It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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