So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
