you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
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she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
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Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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