Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I think people are normalizing furries
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
