Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
