Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
