either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
