After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
it's great music for shaving your balls
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
