accomplished twins. life is a go
time to smoke my breakfast
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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