and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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