sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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