She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
