How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
