accomplished twins. life is a go
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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