Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
