What a fucking waste of an outfit
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize
