just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
