i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
