Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I think i got beer on your cat.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
