dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
