In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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