Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
