who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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