he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
