I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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