He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
