perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
