is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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