You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
