The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
