My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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